69 Sex Sounds

Adagio
Start off slow and easy with these hit numbers, which are the closest thing to lyrical foreplay as possible

01. Justify My Love – Madonna
For starters, this is the point at which Madonna seriously considered running naked in a rainstorm proclaiming her new approach on Erotica. The song was so controversial that that ultra-sensual video was banned on even MTV. Well, that doesn’t stop us from proclaiming this song as one of our favorites to get our freak on with.

02.  Get down Lover-The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion 
These groovalistic blues machines don’t like to keep anyone guessing. So their dates know exactly what they’re in for in bed. In this one, Jon whines on about getting down and giving his baby a pumping. We’re sure he’s not talking about overhauling a car for the annual neighbourhood soap-box race.

03. 2. Why Don’t We Do It In The Road -The Beatles
Paul McCartney saw two monkeys getting it on in public. And the tree-hugging, pill-popper dedicated this one to all the road-tripping hippies who abhor the idea of getting a room. Well, we love the Beatles for The White Album and for giving us the license to give into the moment wherever, whenever.

04. I Want You, I Need You , I Love You - Elvis Presley
Nothing like mush to make the girl next door melt in your arms. This song from the pelvic-thrusting, leg-shaker extraordinaire, Elvis, should make for absolute brilliance when you woo her from your bedroom window. Hopefully, you’ll be able to run faster than the “Hound Dog” her dad lets loose upon you.

05. I’m on Fire – Bruce Springsteen
The Boss’s attempt at being a well-hung desperado freaked us out. The way he begged her to put him out of the misery of his “burning desire”, we wished he’d gotten scorched enough never to try pulling off a Rod Stewart again. But that was too much to ask for.

06. Lay Lady Lay – Bob Dylan
Bob gives up his screechy-protester alter ego and gives you a lesson in seduction. First invite her to rest her head on his big brass bed and then promise her the moon. Or just play this song and assure yourself of playing all the bases on your second date.

07. Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
His rich baritone thunder, overtly sexual lyrics and flattering references to women helped him get more groupies back home than even Robert Plant. We’ll miss this son of a preacher man, especially for the cheesy lines on this track that a lot of us lost our virginity to.

08. Till ( Your Legs Start Shaking) – Sleepy Brown
Once she’s at your place, you’ll never go wrong in cranking up the volume on this one. In this essential foreplay guide, Sleepy tells us how even the neighbourhood geek could get lucky. Just stay awake long enough listening to her and then “feel her every motion till her legs start shaking”.

09. PDA (We Just Don’t Care) – John Legend
Getting lucky in public tops everyone’s fantasy list, thanks to our R&B pals. In this one, legendary pianist and Grammy-nominated artist John Legend tells you how awesome it feels to head down to the park and make out under the stars. Well, at least till the cops show up.

10.  Buttons – Pussycat Dolls
Yes, we do wish that our girlfriends were as hot as these beauties. Nicole and crew really crank up the heat on this one when they sing about pushing their buttons. And now, though she doesn’t mean it that way, we find it sexy when our girl throws that phrase at us,
    
11. Sex Machine - James Brown
There’s no question as to why this man, akin to a priest, was always feeling good and screaming his guts out about it. He confesses to the secret of his joyful jive when he tells us that he’s a “Sex Machine”. We’re pretty sure he’s leading the big jive party up in the sky.

12. Apache Rose Peacock - Red Hot Chili Peppers 
Our cock-sock brethren give hope to all those lonely hearts out there. Anthony Keidis gets off his sack of beans to croon about New Orleans, his very own Rosie and her special touch. Long story short, we can all sleep in peace tonight knowing that there’s a ho out there for everyone.

13.Catholic School Girls Rule - Red Hot Chili Peppers
We’re fascinated with those nubile nymphets that pass through the corridors of convent schools. The Peppers have done their bit to stoke our fantasies. Like in this one Hillel Slovak handles guitar duties on this cross between punk and thrash in honourof a convent-bred femme fatale.

14.  I Wanna Fuck You – Akon Ft. Snoop Dogg
Akon and his main man Snoop get right to the point about why they’re making eyes at you. Try serenading that hottie standing by the bar with this one. What have you got to lose? You’d either wake up with a stupid grin on your face or a black eye.

15. Foxy Lady – Jimi Hendrix
Hendrix knew how to treat his women just as well as he played the guitar. Even the shagadelic spy Austin Powers made this mating call. This one’s perfect for the moment, especially when Jimi whispers the words “foxy lady” with sheer sensuality enough to make her spine tingle.

16. My Humps – Black Eyed Peas
We wish we had Fergie stashed away somewhere apart from our wild imagination. The thought’s all the more tempting when the seductive Duchess jiggles her fine booty and describes her lovely lady lumps. This one’s for all the ladies out there who really know how to make their men crave for them.

17. So Anxious – Ginuwine
OK, so he’s a famous dude who needs some relaxation. But he’s going about it all wrong. He’s starts off fine with all that moping about his girl, but can’t fake it any longer, and then his sexaholic inner beast comes out to straight out demand sex. No wonder she doesn’t show up

18. Feel Like Making Love – Bad Company
Paul Rodgers gave us one of the mushiest songs with this. Know that many a groupie and a roadie fell for these very verses when you sit and snicker about the cheesiness. But he sure goes overboard with the lyrical blasphemy when he promises to create night and day for her.

19. Just One Night – Triumph
Canadian rock ‘n’ rollas are far more docile than most musicians. The way Triumph beg for a one night stand with boring reasons, make this one an anthem for the mascara-wearing glam metal fiends out there. In English, stop being a wimp and get out there with some real rock ‘n’ roll.

20.  I want Your Sex – George Michael
It didn’t seem that way back then, but this one’s clearly from George’s heart for the boys. Especially when he croons about the boys you can trust and the girls you can’t. The song was banned on daytime airwaves for its lyrics and the horny video made him seem like a male Madonna.

21. Let’s Spend The Night Together – The Rolling Stones
This song was taboo for parents and radio stations back in the day. Mr. Rubber Lips and Keith Richards are trying their best to convince a girl about their noble yet lusty intentions. Jagger tells her what worked with every groupie, that these feelings didn’t happen everyday, 

22. Songbird – Kenny G
The saxophone has been attributed to intimate experiences for a while now. But no one has been heard to death more than Kenny G. Apart from hearing him in your elevator or on a stretched tape at weddings, sadly, your woman may love to hear his signature flurry of mush in the bedroom, too.

23. Touching Tongues – Steve Vai
Steve Vai doesn’t stop at pushing the limit of his six-stringed scythe at just the whinny of a horse or a revving Ferrari. He reaches an echelon in passionate note progression here, that was seen before in legendary minstrels. His powerful riffs spur you on to one steamy night.

24. Let’s Make A Night To Remember – Bryan Adams
Bryan would probably argue about the innuendo in the lyrics of “Summer of 69.” But he can’t deny his intentions when he talks about making a night to remember from January to December. We wonder where he’d find the magical aphrodisiac to help him on his record-breaking venture, though. 

25. Sensual Seduction – Snoop Dogg
After years of ballin’ and running with Suge Knight, he’s finally in his own league. Snoop preaches the doggy-style gospel here. The pimp padre advises us to take it slow and easy with some sensual seduction rather than getting it on like a Dave Grohl drum roll.

Allegro
Like the term suggests, it’s time to get busy. Note that lively and fast does not mean frisky!

26. Fuck Her Gently – Tenacious D
‘Cos we believe that porn you download can be a lot more passionate and sweet just like the overgrown rocker, Tenacious D suggests. Taking advice from a fabrication of Jack Black’s imagination, who pleasures himself with his own hand, might be a bit tacky

27. This is Love – PJ Harvey
Getting to third base shouldn’t be so complicated. The world should listen to more of this indie queen’s advice, who goes topless on cue, and gets down to the basics of just having a good time. So, take off your clothes and dim the lights for those two minutes of euphoria, ‘coz that’s love, mate!

28. Future Love/Sex Sounds – Justin Timberlake
Apart from breaking it down better than Wacko Jacko, Timberlake is also in touch with his inner perv. He released a whole album titled Future Love/Sex Sounds. The selectively spliced in beats coupled with a grungy synthesizer make for one of the best songs to make out to.

29. Get On Top – Tim Buckley
The psychedelic funk master gives us the lowdown on why his bed was creaking all day long. With a voice straight out of the 60s, a church organ and a mean guitar, Buckley spits in morality’s face as he gets it on with his lady to finds out all she’s learnt so far.

30. Push It – Salt N Peppa
Spindarella, Salt and Pepa stopped at absolutely nothing to become show-stopping divas and the inspiration for other derriere-shaking all-female hip-hop bands like TLC and Destiny’s Child. Here’s a no-holds barred version of a woman’s desires which includes some good ol’ cooling by day and sweatin’ up by night. .
    
31. Groove With You – The Isley Brothers
These guys get off the soul-train for about four minutes to tell us what they’re thinking about. You’d wish you could read minds like these dudes when they say that they know all about the fire in her soul. That’s the excuse these opportunistic doo woppers used to get all those women.

32. Bump n’ Grind (Remix) – R. Kelly
Nothing about R. Kelly is as clean as those white suits he wears to cover up the ghetto flag he waves. We suspect his escapade with the under age chica he urinated on inspired all the bumping and grinding this number was about.

33. Rock The Boat – Aaliyah
This one from Aaliyah really leaves you breathing heavily. As she takes you through this one with her sensual breathy verses about a nautical escapade, we can’t help but miss the chocolate brown fantasy that was Aaliyah. She left us with a piece of valuable information about what women want, though - change positions!

34. Between The Sheets – The Isley Brothers
The storm funk experimentation on this song is not half as steamy as what goes on in the lyrical section. Whether these grand daddies of Motown were on Viagra or not it’s simply amazing how any one of them went all night long rocking between the sheets.

35. Wildcat – RATATAT
In the digital age we live in we’re surrounded by a barrage of beeps. That’s probably why we comprehend electronica a lot more than anything else. The call of the wildcat and the perfectly timed beats of this song are perfect for some symphonic bedroom action.

36. Everything Is In It’s Right Place – Radiohead 
Thom Yorke seems satiated when he croons about everything being in the right place. Although the world thought that it was his obsessive compulsive disorder talking, we smoked out the innuendo lurking in the lyrics. Play R.E.M’s “Everybody Hurts” after this for the perfect night out.

37. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
Here’s an unstoppable beat assault from the god fathers of electronica, Daft Punk this time. If the overly repeated lyrics don’t scream out, “This is the perfect song for me to get laid to,” listen to the hard hitting beats which are sinisterly synchronized to a certain motion. Go figure.

38. Work It – Missy Elliot
The rap goddess can sure drop a bomb track. Missy’s self-produced “Work It” is the anthem for fellatio lovers everywhere. She breaks down the whole show, the way an original gangsta would appreciate it, complete with a booty-shaking vibe and a lyrical bombardment of sex.

39. Suck My Kiss - Red Hot Chili Peppers
We doubt that the Peppers knew it at the time but they were creating the ultimate stalker anthem with this one. Try serenading that girl, whose every moment you’ve photographed, with this number and she might just try to find out whether she can suck your kiss.

40. Rhythm Of Love – The Scorpions 
The Germans were probably the most hated race for years after the World War. But we decide to bury all of that angst in favour of The Scorpions. This lyrical rhapsody should whip the night into a frenzy if you can push the tempo in accordance to Jurgen Rosenthal’s beats.
    
41. Cream – Prince
We didn’t get the whole point of “Purple Rain.” This one, however, reinstated Prince’s mojo in our eyes. It’s the whole works with a bed room snatch boogie coupled with a funky guitar in overdrive. So get that purple pimp suit off and get on top.

42. Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard
You’d think that Englishmen would get tired of all that sugar with their horrible dental records. Although, we doubt anyone would pour any sugar on this mulleted mess of a band, this song is definitely high priority for all those one night stands. That and a tad of whipped cream should be perfect.

43. Lemon Song – Led Zeppelin
If anyone knew how to write an ode to a groupie it was old goldilocks himself, Robert Plant. The woman-hungry band was into the kinkiest backstage practices including
an odd fetish for genital sushi. Despite the vegan title, the guys go on to tell you what fun groupie fornication is.

44. Slide It In – Whitesnake
With an album sleeve that simply suggests sexual deviance with a bloke on a leash, we knew Coverdale and gang were upto something this time around. Whitesnake move pretty fast with their ladies by fast-forwarding straight to the slipping and sliding bit without any of the boring courtship parts.

45. Porno Star – Buckcherry
These guys don’t hold anything back when they call themselves porno stars. The guys invite her back to the pad to just shut the door and strip down to the floor because there’s a pornographic monster ready to go. To think that these are the very same guys who then sobered up and sang “Carousel.”

46.  Smack That – Akon Ft. Eminem
Here’s the Heman woman-hater and the Konvict laying it down for you. This one’s for you guys who like getting off while clubbing or taking fat women back home after getting pasted at the local watering whole. Basically, get in there and smack that all on the floor.

47. Take It Off (Dim The Lights) – Pharell Williams
His tour rider states that he wants enough Grey Goose vodka for his crew and women. But did you know that he had a theme song for the moment too? When he gets tired of chatting and laughing, all he wants is some good loving. Don’t worry, ladies, he does promise to be gentle.

48. Lick My Love Pump – Spinal Tap
Without Tap we probably wouldn’t have had a Tenacious D. The three members of the fictional band give up playing with their Gumby figurines and write about a “serious” issue in their usual “sophisticated” manner straight out of Sheffield. If there was ever an ode to fellatio this was it.

49. A Whole Lotta Rosie – ACDC
These dudes are feistier than Kangaroos are. That’s the reason why Bon Scott couldn’t get a normal-sized groupie to satisfy him. The world never found out who his big beautiful lady was. Scott dedicated this massive guitar-chugging melody to her and a oversized inflatable doll which has since been an AC/DC
concert staple.

50. I’m Gonna Love You Just A Little More – Barry White
Marvin Gaye and Barry are the closest thing to two peas in a pod. Barry’s electric drone is enough to get a lady tingling all over. The mammoth of a man describes probably one his many intimate encounters, which then became a love making anthem for generations over.

51. Bed – J. Holiday 
Here’s one of those R&B numbers that fill your head with things you’d never get. For starters, try finding someone who’d be hot enough to slip into Victoria’s Secret lingerie. Then there’s the whole getting-a-backrub- from-your-girlfriend part. It’s time we get these melodies that depress us banned. 

52.  Nice And Slow – Usher
Usher is the groove master with ultra fast switches in between dance steps and a vocal range to match. This one’s about him wanting to get frisky with his “shawty.”  It’s a familiar feeling as the cold sweats double up and his anxiety to make it a night to remember soar through the roof.

vibrato
Alternative from the norm, these quick switches from being crazy human to total animalia were quite easy for our rockers

53. Rock The Cradle Of Love – Billy Idol
Mikkaeel would’ve loved this one from punk rock’s finest, Billy Idol. The bloke’s chanting about making love to a Lolita bride here, and takes a putrid dig at cradle-snatching dudes. Well, all we’re going to say is that one’s man’s moan is another man’s frown. Rock on, Billy!

54. Closer – Nine Inch Nails
Leave all your sensuality and sensibility at home when you dive into an industrial rocker’s sex life. Trent Reznor describes the desecration theory of making love here. As he reaches for the sky to be closer to
God through her loins we know this was written just for you, scarface.

55.  I Touch Myself – The Divinyls
A lyrical progression about masturbation coupled by a disco bop melody is all you
need to be a tiger in the bedroom. All this sexual frustration coming from a hottie
like Christina Amphlette makes you glad
that everybody needs that “loving touch” every once in a while.
    
56. Venus Is A Boy – Bjork
Picture a nubile doll straight out of the 50s, singing about how a man’s wicked humouis an indication of his sensual touch – and you’ve got a Bjork video. Her kinkiness and her fetish for the eerie are evident
in this memoir of a love-making session the melodic Icelandic way.

57. Stacy’s Mom – Fountains Of Wayne
These guys have always been mom lovers. They were initially called “Are You My Mother?” before becoming power pop sensations. As they praise “Stacy’s Mom” for her very fine derriere and fall for the ageing diva’s seductive smile, they become the poster boys for the Ashton Kutcher fan club

58. Hot For Teacher – Van Halen
Van Halen spurred on guys like Fountains Of Wayne. With an equally powerful fetish for older women, David Lee Roth and Eddie finally come clean on why they loved homework and a bit of detention so much. Pity the bell went off and the day was over long before they could express their desires.

59. Fuckin’ In Heaven  – Fatboy Slim
Hell’s afraid that Fatboy Slim’s progressive techno would take over all existing evil. Heaven would never want him after he’s threatened the angels on this track. We, however, appreciate this repetitive lyric, interspersed with an awesome looped sample, for inspiring a number of casual conversations with beauties at the local pub.

60. Smack My Bitch Up – Prodigy
The song which was originally about tuning a drum kit and cranking up the snare drum became a cult song for all those snuff riders and bondage loving wierdos. The insane audio porno and the hard-hitting video are what make this song perfect for Marilyn Manson’s one night stands.

61.  I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry
She left her gospel persona to sing about how much she loved a lesbian encounter and gives us an absolutely suggestive video to go along with it. We love this one for the fact that it proves that musicians are sensitive too. They even make sex songs that are homosexual compatible.

62. Sex Over The Phone  – The Village People
They gave the world some of the biggest homosexual anthems to date and the most downloaded video on the internet, “Sex over the Phone.” The band of professionals gives us their take on the whole phone sex phenomenon. Here’s an example of socially aware musicians who promote normalcy for the loonies.

DA CAPO
An afterglow is  like a reprise. So whether you want to hit it one more time or roll over like a slob, this is what you need

63. Hit Me Baby One More Time – Britney Spears
Of course, Britney would deny all allegations about the innuendo in the first song that made her a star. A blonde, 18 year old in a suggestively worn school uniform and breathy vocals are enough to spell out sex vixen for us.

64.  Son Of  A Preacher Man – Dusty Springfield
Music’s fascination with spurning all things holy was all so fashionable when Dusty came out with this one. It’s probably that insatiable desire to graze on the greener side of life that gets her infatuated with the “Son of a Preacher Man”.  That and the kisses the opportunist gave her.

65. Fuck And Run – Liz Phair
It’s all about enjoying the moment, ain’t it? However, she didn’t really mean the song in the way we wanted her to. The way she sees it is that she needs a man after all the years of getting hammered and going home with random dudes.

66. Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye
Here’s the big daddy of sex and blues once again. As Gaye finds sexual salvation in his woman, we can’t help but remember
the number of times this number has
been a partner in crime to the most
romantic scenes real and reel.

67. Shook Me All Night Long – ACDC
Angus Young, the eternal schoolboy, lays down a riff perfect for that moment you want to set the night afire, with your lady friend. That with Brian Johnson’s shrieky vocal memoir of a sexual escapade is enough for us to feature this as one of our favorite songs to get busy with. 

68. How Does It Feel – d’Angelo
Gotcha! Finally, we have an honest R&B superstar. Like all of us he too finds it really tough to get the ladies. Listen to him moan on about his lack of a love life and mail him on Myspace with advice on how to get lucky.

69. Cherrypie – Warrant
Here’s the best song to serenade your biker girlfriend with. Jani Lane describes his “Cherrypie” whom he probably did at “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” The leather-clad womaniser of a song is all about a guy like us - bragging on about all his sexual escapades to a million listeners worldwide.